"You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?"
-Matthew 5: 43-47
I struggle with this....and I want to get over it. I'll do anything. Imagine that would do.
The quote above comes from a Nickel Creek song entitled "Doubting Thomas." It just rings true right now. To me, it says two things. Either a) that my struggle to truly preach the gospel with my life is due to the fact that I don't know what to do when I'm presented with an opportunity to be the person I was created to be or b) that I'm so self-centered that I lead people away from my lifeforce.
I don't believe in predestination. I believe that my God-given free will has a direct effect on eternity. And I thank the Creator for allowing me to be part of his good work. That is to say that I have not been holding up my part of the agreement. If I were a true Christian, I would be doing a better job of being a light in a dark place.
That verse is what has caused this in me. This rethinking of my character and of Christianity as a whole because I'm so far from that right now. Sometimes I wish this wasn't so difficult
I want so much to be the person that I was created to be...
...but I can't do it alone.
And if I know that, why do I continue to try to do it by myself?
-I'm stubborn
-I'm hurting
-I see what I think are injustices and everything in my human nature tells me how unfair it is
-My pride
-Because I'm self-centered
-I HAVE TRUST ISSUES
-I'm pessimistic
-I don't actually care about people, I just pretend to
-I'm afraid to exceed my own expectations because I don't want to give God the credit because I'm just that amazing
I thought that list would be shorter. I have a lot of work to do....God and I have a lot of work to do.
"Don’t teach me about loving my enemies
Don’t teach me how to listen to the Spirit
Just give me a new law"
-Derek Webb
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2 comments:
if you've listened to Derek Webb's 'House Show' CD, there are some things he says to preface a couple of the songs that would lead a person to post something pretty similar to what you've posted.
we needn't build up our image for the people around us, but rather, we should be honest about our faults... for the greater we recognize our faults to be, the greater we recognize our Savior to be.
but i don't know how you can be a true Derek fan without at least articulating 'predestination' a little differently, if not believing it altogether :-)
- this thought is about the previous post:
"fall out of love"... do you really believe that is a legitimate concept? i'm curious
Umm...I don't I think that it's possible. But it makes me feel better to pretend.
So, no, it's not a legitimate concept, but honestly, it's a better explanation than I got.
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