My American Church

I am troubled. I try not to be critical of the people who are members of the church that I work for. I really do enjoy working at the church. I like the people there and the atmosphere of the community. I like working with the youth group and the kids in it.

However, there have been two things that have made me sad. Not because these things only happen in this church but that they happen at all. These are common things in the American church. Most of us don't even realize it until it is pointed out.

The first of which is a music video for a song by Carman. Now, I will admit that other than this song I am completely unfamiliar with the man's music. However, this video have definitely turned me off. In the song/video he claims that 20+ Biblical laws are mentioned by the writers of the Declaration of Independence. Interestingly enough, there is no mention of the Bible, Christianity, or Jesus Christ in the Declaration. Not to mention the fact that the only people who have rights in their minds were people who could own land or (for the most part) white men.

My biggest problem with the video is that it is filled with hate. Hate for people who are not like the American, Caucasian, Christian population. That video should be nowhere near Christianity or the Church.

My other issue is that at the beginning of Vacation Bible School we have pledges. First we do the pledge to the American flag, then the Christian flag, then the Bible. My problem is not with the pledges themselves but rather the order. It's completely backwards. Is our allegiance first to America or to our faith?

I don't feel like I can pledge to the American flag before either of the others.

"My first allegiance is not to a flag, a country or a man.
No, my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood.
It's to a King and a kingdom."
-Derek Webb

His Story

If you haven't heard yet, there is this guy named Josh Hamilton. He went to high school at Athens Drive (a local school). He was drafted by the Tampa Bay Rays and was going to have a great career. He got injured, got into drugs, and almost lost his career. After a few years out of baseball, he turned his life around and was signed by the Cincinnati Reds. This past offseason, they reluctantly traded him to the Texas Rangers for Edinson Volquez (a trade that has worked out for both teams). Yesterday, he was chosen as a starter for the AL All Stars. His efforts to turn his life around have paid off. If you get the chance, read his story.

God bless Josh Hamilton for realizing his potential and not settling for less.

My Biggest Struggle

I miss blogging. I really do. I'm just glad that school is over now so I can read more for pleasure and write some more blogs. I'm also going to change the way I title the individual blogs as well. I want a more "Scrubsy" feel to this thing. I'll explain why in this post. I might sneak a song quote in here every once in a while though.

The thing I find most interesting about my relationship with Jesus is that just when I feel like I'm comfortable with everything, that comfort is taken away. Shane Claiborne probably says it best when he says that Jesus came to "comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable" (Irresistible Revolution and Jesus For President). I was cruising along though. Learning new things about my faith and about myself and everything was okay. At least until my fatal flaw was revealed. I think that's why I relate to superheroes so much. They have this power but they always have some flaw that goes along with it. Not that I have special powers or anything...yet.

I'm sure that if either of the individuals I'm talking about reads this, they will try to fix whatever is wrong (I can't spoil it for you yet), but I don't want them to. I don't want an apology. I'm not doing this for one. I just want this out there. This is for me.

I'm not even going to tell the story. I wouldn't even know where to start. I've always longed for a mentor. I think this is why I relate so easily to J.D. from Scrubs. He is always trying to earn the respect of Dr. Cox. He does everything he can. That was me in youth group. I never felt like I got it though. It's so frustrating to see people who are angels in public and completely irrational and hateful in private get the respect that you've worked so diligently for. It's even worse when that person lies to your face about the whole situation.

The crazy thing is that I don't want the respect anymore. I don't. I like the people that I go to for spiritual advice. I think I have a broad spectrum of well educated and understanding friends who help me with any of my concerns about ministry or life in general.

This whole situation just knocked me on my butt though. I made myself sick over it. I guess I finally know why it had to. My biggest struggle is forgiveness. I want to forgive but I don't know if I understand all the implications of that forgiveness. It's not easy to forgive. Especially with a hurt that is so deep. I'm going to forgive. I'm not ready yet though.

Sometimes I wish it were easier to follow Jesus....

My Dreams Have Come True

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080611/ap_on_fe_st/italy_unicorn

I Pledge Allegiance to a Country without borders, without Politicians...

Surprise! I have no idea who I'm going to vote for. I'm traditionally a Republican (Capitalism ftw), but with the moron that has been selected to represent the party, I have no choice. I also do not think that neither Hilary or Obama are really the candidates that are best for the country. I don't know and I don't really care anymore. People always say that you can't complain if you don't vote. Can I just vote for no one? Do I really have to choose the least of the evils? That doesn't make any sense to me. None at all. I want someone great to step up and fix the country. Someone that will really change things for the better.

One suggestion that I have heard is to write "Jesus Christ" in as my choice for President. I mocked this. I had no choice. I mean, I guess we need a Republican who bleeds red, white, and blue. Come on.

I'll propose something else. Why don't we let the morality of Christ control our lives and not our government? Why can't our conscience be our moral compass? Why do we need to have a "Christian" in office so that our laws line up with our faith? America was created with freedom of religion, so they can't take away our ability to worship God. I don't think they could since 75% of Americans claim to be Christian. It's not like Christianity lines up with Capitalism anyway. Didn't Jesus say to give what we have to the poor? Why isn't that being preached unless the church is building something new? Yeah, give your money to us, not the people who don't have jobs. "They were in prison, it's their fault they made a mistake when they were 18 years old and even though they have cleaned up, their arrest record still prevents them from getting a job so they have to beg on the streets or live in a tiny house. Give your money to us because we need a basketball court." Real Christians are hard to find in America today, yet the Atheists are the ones taking over. I don't think so. I think the dumb Christians are taking over. Why don't we try to stop them? The fake ones. The Christians who don't actually live out their faith. The ones that think showing up on Sunday is good enough.

Maybe it's because there aren't enough of those to teach the rest...

I'm trying. I expect a packed house for Easter. I won't be at a Sunrise service though. Jesus is risen every day. I don't need one day to commemorate it. I celebrate it every day. Happy Easter tomorrow and the day after and the day after....

I pledge allegiance to a country without borders, without politicians
Watching for my sky to get torn apart
We are broken, we are bitter
We're the problem, we're the politicians
Watching for our sky to get torn apart
-Switchfoot

Love thy neighbor is a command

For some of you, comments may be necessary.

Maybe this should be a wake up call...

http://www.thedenverchannel.com/news/15576902/detail.html

Unfortunately, this man never got the answers he deserved while on earth. I know that what this man did was wrong, but at the same time, I understand his sentiments. I fear that many pastors will use this event as a way to say that the world is evil, but I think the point could be made that maybe Christians are evil. Well, not Christians, but rather "Christians."

Learning to Breathe

I guess this is the best way to title this post.

Tonight I realized that I am completely burned out. I'm talking about school, work, friendships. I feel like I am at my worst right now. I don't even know why. I actually like my classes this semester. I just have so much outside work. It's difficult to keep up. My mind is expanding though. I just feel like, aside from one night of the week and the time I spent with my girlfriend, I am surrounded by closed minded people. People who don't want to look outside the box. People who would rather watch American Idol than do something positive. People that are going to church to avoid hell. I can't take it anymore.

Why don't people want to live the abundant life that Christ offers us? I just don't understand it.

I'm learning to breathe. I'm finding that Jesus is everything good in my life.

"I'm learning to breathe
I'm learning to crawl
I'm finding that you and you alone can break my fall
I'm living again
Awake and Alive
I'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies."
-Switchfoot

And I'm free again...

If I didn't have you as my guide...

I sit here writing this at 1:49 AM. I'm so angry right now. Mostly because I despise people who are fake. I sit here begging forgiveness...only because I don't really know what else to do. I don't think I've never been so disappointed in my life.

"I had a well, but all the water less,
So I'll go ask Your forgiveness with every breath"

Last night I had a conversation with someone about some issues I am having with someone and his friends. And I talked about my concerns and I was reassured that things were not as bad as they seemed. I felt better. Then that person decided to make a comment about me when he thought I couldn't hear him. And I just don't understand it.

Someone enlighten me.

But all the while, I can't help but think about what is stopping me from smothering him.

Jesus just made it seem so easy...the whole loving your neighbor thing...I'm just ready for a break from all this.

But if I didn't have You as my guide,
I'd still wander lost in Sinai
ounting the plates of cars from out of state,
How I could jump in their path as they hurry along.
And You surround me,
You're pretty but You're all I can see
Like a thick fog...
If there was no way into God,
I would never have laid in this grave of a body for so long."
-mewithoutYou

But the day I seen her come out of Kerr's Mercantile and cross the street and she passed me and I tipped my hat to her and got just almost a smile back, that was the luckiest.

People complain about the bad things that happen to em that they dont deserve but they seldom mention the good. About what they done to deserve them things. I dont recall that I ever give the good Lord all that much cause to smile on me. But he did.

Sheriff Bell in No Country for Old Men

I really just needed to post this quote. Someone will know why. She will not, however, be happy that I quoted a book that she has not read yet.

But if all that's left is duty, I'm falling on my sword

This song breaks my heart...mostly because it seems to be true. I would love some comments before I talk about my reactions to it.

Edit*
In light of Dave telling to post the lyrics, I am doing so. These are from the Justin McRoberts version. And for the record, it is the version I prefer as well.

"I could hear the church bells ringing
They pealed aloud Your praise
The member's faces were smiling
With their hands outstretched to shake
It's true they did not move me
My heart was hard and tired
Their perfect fire annoyed me
I could not find You anywhere

Could someone please tell me the story
Of sinners ransomed from the fall?
I still have never seen You, and some days
I don't love you at all

The devoted were wearing bracelets
To remind them why they came
Some concrete motivation
When the abstract could not do the same
But if all that's left is duty, I'm falling on my sword
At least then, I would not serve an unseen, distant Lord

Could someone please tell me the story
Of sinners ransomed from the fall
I still have never seen you, and some days
I don't love you at all

If this only a test
I hope that I'm passing, because I'm losing steam
but I still want to trust You"


I've also probably used this before. But what the heck, I'll use it again.

untitled

Sometimes I feel like I can do nothing but hurt people.

Lights Will Guide You Home

I know there are a lot of people who don't want to hear me say this and there are also a lot of people who want to hear me say this. I apologize to the former.

Lately, I've been listening to Coldplay. This stems from a conversation I had with one of my professors who asked me if I did indeed listen to them because I like Mat Kearney so much. Now, I was pretty anti-Coldplay for a while because I thought all their songs sounded the same or far too similar. I'm really digging this song called Fix You. I saw it on the HD Music Channel I get at the house and I was just blown away. It's so soothing. I looked up the lyrics and found that apply wonderfully to love (at least in the way I view it) and relationships (at least in the way I view them). I also figured that it would be a great opportunity to embed my first youtube video.



I think the chorus is the part that is the most interesting to me. I think the goal of every romantic relationship is to try to fix or complete another person. I think so many relationships fail because we spend so much time thinking about ourselves rather than remembering that relationships are about two becoming one and the two people fixing each other rather than our self-centered view when we are single.

I think home is such a wonderful idea. Home is where we are most able to be ourselves because we're a lot less worried about what people think of us. Home has so much to do with the people around us than an actual place though. I spend most of my year in a dorm room, but my home is about 30 minutes away from my dorm room, with the people I'm most comfortable with. I'm a year and a half away from being on my own for the first time. I'll be paying rent and bills and everything else and I'll be supporting either one or two people (depending on whether or not she keeps me). I'll be creating a home.

I guess my true message is to everyone, but I have one person in particular that these last few words are for.


"Lights will guide you home,
and ignite your bones,
and I will try to fix you"
-Fix You by Coldplay

Why do you speak with that accent now?

I have this amazing love/hate relationship with facebook.

It is such a handy resource sometimes, but it can make me so disappointed in people sometimes. I had an experience with the latter the other day. I added a new friend who was an old friend and immediately visited his page. I looked at his wall and, let me just say, I have never seen so many white suburban kids use the n-word. I was disgusted. I mean, these are kids that I went to high school with and hung out with in my neighborhood.

Now, maybe I'm just jealous. I mean, I don't like the n-word as much as a white man can. But to be able to use any slang at all would be wonderful. I sound like a parent. Kids today are so "gangsta."

I came away from this with one conclusion. I had assumed that the top two users of the n-word are rappers and racists. I guess suburban white kids are number three on that list now.

This suburban white kid is passing on that trend.

I guess I just want people to be real.

"So who do you fool with that costume now?
Everyone knows you're not who you seem
You've got a hard way about you
For someone whose passage is already paid"
-Dashboard Confessional

Entertainment Awards Part II

I'm gonna have to hurry through these entertainment awards so I can get on with my blogging. I still have so much to say and I don't spend enough time saying it. I have my very first book review and some CD reviews coming up soon.


Best Movie: Bourne Ultimatum

I have never felt tension as thick as I felt when I saw this movie. Just great atmosphere in the theater. The movie was amazing and I'm hoping we get a fourth installment so we can find out if something is happening with Jason Bourne (Matt Damon) and Nicky Parsons (Julia Stiles).

2. Ratatouille
3. Transformers

3 Movies I didn't make it to:

1. No Country for Old Men
2. Juno
3. Gone Baby Gone

Best TV Show:

Scrubs

Did you expect anything different?

Best TV Show No One Watched:

Friday Night Lights.

Low ratings but wow, what an amazing show.

Best Video Game:

Uncharted: Drake's Fortune

This might be the best game I have ever played. The story was amazing from beginning to end. It would have been a great movie by itself, but the fact that it was a great interactive movie makes it all that much better.

Athletic Event of the Year:

Boise State vs. Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl

Boise was able to take down Goliath using a hooker and lateral and the statue of liberty play. It doesn't get much better than that.

Well, that's it for this year. Should be an interesting 2008